Nothing to be positive about...

When I was working at the Mellow Mushroom our manager had us a little paper to give us something to think about every day. It was always newly taped to the stand, I was a hostess, every day and EVERY day it said that we needed to 86 negativity. In the resturaunt business, if you don't know, to 86 something is to gt rid of it. So we were always supposed to stay positive. Steven wasn't actually that positive of a guy though, if I remember correctly, we had a stafff meeting and everything he saisd the whole time was seriously negative and kind of a downer. But I think a lot of negative people insist that those around them stay positive to sort of lift their spirits, kind of like if you are really not that bright you could hang around with intelligent people and they can fil in all the blanks for you....I am terrible at analagies and not ready for mensa...

So anyway, the facebook has this app that tells you how to do something healthy each day, it sends it to my email, which is great because I don't always see facebook online but i will always check my email. And today it asked for a negative situation that brought about a positive outcome. What an interesting thing for a day such as this. I have a sort of dual sided personality, where, I am almost perfectly saintly on the one hand, and damn near evil on the other. The polar-ness of these two personalities couldn't be any more distinct, or any further and oposing of the other. It is almost like there are two entirley different people living inside of me. ANd one of them,...omg, one of them reallllyyyy doesn't like the other. Hates that person in fact.

Yesterday the ugly side of me got the better of me, and I laid in bed all morning trying to understand where the ugliness in me comes from, and where it goes, because by now, I don't have any idea who the hell that crazy bitch is? Who is the mean and angry person who came out of me yesterday like hurricaine!? I mean it is almost like a storm, there is no better analagy than this, because it stirs up and then bursts forth! And the next thing I know, it is calming, and there are remnants of something terrible, but as it has passed there is no trace of the storm, only the debri? And the sky is clear, and there is nothing left, no clouds, no rain, no fury, nothing. So I lay in bed and I wonder, and I cannot figure out where it came from, or even where it went, my mind is as if replaced by some other person with a sense and knowledge unaccounted for yesterday, suddenly I am no longer stormy, and then I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me!

I think, since I tend to like to read classics, I will get Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde next.But it ios just a story.

So I went to my email and I saw there the little daily reminder, and I am supposed to find a positive outcome from something negative, and I can't think of anything! When did something bad happen and it made things better? Can you think of something like that? I can't. I can't remember anything at all, actually.

I suppose work has improved, I had a couple of rough days last week but by the end of the week things seemed to be picking up,bot business wise and my mood seemed to be improving. I don't think that I know what the point is of complaining, since I have a job and there are people out there who are desperately in need of work right now. I am just a bit of a baby, you know, no one wants to stand for eight hours a day, and I am extra hard on myself for every false thought or feeling and won't tolerate any bad behavior or attitudes towards any one who comes through my line. Otherwise I put myself through terrible anguish, it's that angelic side of me, always trying to be an angel when really I am only human. I think my neighbors must have set their house on fire this morning because I heard an alarm and now I think I hear a fire truck.

Not too bad though because they have left already. So, in other news, I bought three boxesof fully cooked bacon and have found many things to do with it. BLT's, breakfast and quiche are just a few of the easy meals you can just throw on the table with some ready bacon. I made this quiche the other night, it was so easy, bacon mushroom and swiss, and it was pretty tasty, although we are looking for a pie crust that isn't sweet, almost every one you buy has a sweet taste and I want nothing to do with sweet crust when I am eating bacon and swiss! They actually have finely grated swiss at my store, can you imagine! I already told you about this though, didn't I?